Time has such a great sense of humor. One minute I’m lost in an endless void of chores that drown my attention for what seems like a day, only to find an entire month disintegrated like the ash at the end of a cigarette. Thankfully, it was not all in vain, as my absence was out of sheer necessity with many tasks ranging from unavoidable to unimaginably stressful. One of those being the loss of my cherished vehicle, a source of glee and excitement snatched from my very claws so fast I barely had a chance to say goodbye. Such remains the price you pay when owning a British luxury sports sedan infamous for its reputation as an unreliable money pit.
Shopping for a new car might seem a bit tedious to some, but for someone as anally anxious about every little detail as myself, it becomes an obsessive exercise in mental obliteration. Day after day of endless searching led me through a vast infrastructure of cocky salespeople, dead end deals, and too many headaches to count before finally stumbling on a German rival that will surely bring as much joy as the last gas guzzler. What made this entire process even more challenging were the inevitable speed bumps that come with owning a home. Various little tasks with varying degrees of difficulty kept adding up from one week to the next, making it near impossible to find time for anything music related.
After the gods of mental anguish finished mocking me, I was able to inject some much needed summer vibes into my veins with the help of movies like Dazed & Confused, Summer School, and The Secret of My Success. There was something about those vintage vibes that wrapped me in a strange sense of comfort whenever I was immersed in 80s music and old television shows from that era. Part of it made me feel like a kid again, with the warmer weather signaling a change in seasons that shifted into a more playful, carefree time. Until it dawned on me that we have a kid of our own in this house who is just about to enter summer vacation with a myriad of questions that will surely test my sanity as much as any of these other issues have lately.
Thankfully, the madness has died down a bit and even revealed a shockingly useful surprise that has ended up benefiting my music. As a creative person, you look for emotion to feed your creativity in any aspect, so you can craft something unique and personal that others can relate to. In this case, it was using the madness I had just endured to influence the music I’m writing for the next Autumns Eyes album. Who would have thought car shopping and sheet rocking a house could somehow find their way into a metal song? And while the lyrics will certainly avoid any of those details, the unfiltered rage they provided will definitely offer adequate sustenance for these songs to reach levels they had not seen prior to this past month.
Picking up the guitar after a month without it was like reaching a soft stream of fresh spring water in a beautiful wooded area after weeks of dredging through the desert with nothing but sand and sun sucking the life out of your soul. It was beyond rejuvenating, and I feel so much more at peace with myself. That’s not to say everything is wrapped up in a nice little bow. Life will always provide new and interesting ways to challenge us, but it’s in those moments we learn to utilize negative experiences in a way that makes us more efficient physically, mentally, and spiritually. So things are back on track, music is being recorded, and I’m headed back into the woods for a much-needed run. The path may not be perfect, but it’s one I will tread with purpose.
