Around 5:30pm yesterday August 7th, I lost a dear friend of fifteen years. He was hospitalized for several months due to a severe condition which I won’t go into detail here. Day after day we all heard of his condition going up and down like a roller coaster, and never being sure what would happen. We all knew it was a possibility that he could lose the fight, but it never really seemed like a reality.
We all made a couple trips to see him, and got to speak with him quite a bit on the first visit. We laughed and reminisced about old times, and it was clear that we really brightened his spirits by spending time with him.
The last time I saw him was this past Saturday when my girlfriend and I said our goodbyes. Seeing him lay there in a hospital bed and having to speak to him for the last time was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. He wasn’t able to speak or move in any way, but I like to think he still heard what everyone had to say to him in his final moments.
Im writing this here because I wanted to share his favorite song of mine called “Instinctive” which I wrote back in 2005. He frequently expressed how much he liked the song which apparently had been constantly repeating on his iPod at the time. He was also very inspirational towards my attitude on where Autumns Eyes was headed in the future. He always told me there was something about my music that wasn’t characteristic of your typical metal band. Something in the sound that could apply to any genre or listener, no matter what their taste.
At the time I was a bit dismayed at the fact Id be limited by having the heavy metal tag on my music, but he was the one who inspired me, assuring there were other people out there who would listen to this besides heavy metal fans. He wasn’t the biggest fan of heavy music by any means either, but after he opened up to some of my songs he then started opening up to other bands in the genre.
Death is an unfortunate event that everyone must face at some point in their existence. Its almost like a form of cleansing, as it reveals truths and feelings that were never mentioned in the years prior. It exposes exactly what that person meant to you, and how important they are in this life.
Our friend is finally at peace from the nightmare he had to endure for so long. His body may be gone, but his memory will outlive all of us. We will continue to keep his spirit alive and never forget how much he meant to all of us. Moments like this are never easy to cope with, and hardly seem fair by any means. However, it is a part of life that we are forced to endure even if it doesn’t make any sense.
Im going to miss my friend, and I hope he knows just how much he meant to all of us over the years. Rest in peace, Chris.